Andre Yvon / This Land is Your Land
text by Natalya Serkova
1 September, 2020
Automobile. What is it? American dream (why only American?). Power, speed, freedom to move, to touch nature. Sex. Streamlined panels, soft chairs, enclosed space, muted noises. Leather womb. Controlled womb. Womb possibly infiltrated by someone other than you to keep you company. Now there are two of you. Three of you, four. How many of you can fit the womb? It depends on the size. You can’t inflate it more than it’s already inflated. The size is set, you can’t influence it.
Where is the umbilical cord? You hold onto the steering wheel—you think that’s enough? Is it all contact? You let your hands go and the contact breaks. Although there is still your body sitting in the chair, drowning in, foot on pedal—the contact is not that easy to break. Your back dents in the soft upholstery of the chair. What if the umbilical cord wired through your spine? The main communication channel, it would be then connected directly to the V8 engine, and gasoline would flow through it like a current, and you would feel the fuel in your body hitting it up to 98.6F.
It’s so good to be inside the womb. For the folklore narratives, this plot is expectedly important. Cinderella went to the ball in a pumpkin womb. We can assume that the soft intrauterine pumpkin tissue, together with its seeds, transformed into a soft upholstery of the carriage, soft enough to soothe Cinderella’s adrenaline rush caused by the trip. In theory, her state of consciousness should have been like a drug affliction because of the shock of seeing the wonders of her fairy godmother. Only this can explain the fact that she did not feel any pain while walking and dancing in crystal shoes. It is even possible that the carriage, the ball and the prince were nothing more than an intense hallucination of Cinderella as we cannot exclude the fact that her stepmother and stepsister’s systematic abuse and gaslighting could lead to a disturbance in the functioning of the girl’s brain and irreversible loss of connection with reality.
What is more real—a pumpkin carriage or an erotic attraction to the insides of your fine car? Let’s complicate the question: to the insides of your awful cheap car. You can cut out a carriage from the pumpkin and put a girl there. You can practice your erotic fantasies about various types of inanimate matter. 1:1. You can sing a song while cleaning up and see a woman coming out of the empty room with a clear desire to do something magical for you. She’s got a wand in her hand. Or is it a pumpkin stalk? More like a gear lever. Do you feel your knees shiver already? Are you ready to believe everything she says and agree to everything she offers? Be ready for this if you want to feel again that umbilical cord connected to your body and bubbling liquids running inside of it. If you want to feel the freedom of turning yourself into a pumpkin, a V8 engine and then back into a person. To taste the velocity and wind in the face. Wait, what face? There is no face anymore, just the perfectly stretched premium grade skin.